So it’s time to prepare for a New Year and though I enjoyed being with family and friends over the holidays, I am ready to embark on the New Year and be done with the entire holiday hubbub. Much money was spent to ensure that no one was forgotten on my ever growing list of people to remember this time of year. (Anyone reading if I missed you, I am sorry, I am sending you my happy holiday cheer thoughts as I type) In addition, to the gifts, the cards that were sent and the donations for various causes, I am happy to say that this chick is done for the year! No more shopping, just relaxing….
My living room is overrun with Thomas the Train toys and items from the movie Cars 2. I feel very blessed this year with my family and friends love and support. Though I lost someone very special from my family this year, she still lives in my heart and will not be forgotten. It’s always hard to lose a loved one this time of year. However, as I look around and remind myself that this madness of toys etc is a reminder of my family and what we have to be thankful for and fills my heart with joy.
Hubby and I don’t spend a lot on each other at the holidays, because we are firm believers that this is the time of year to do for others and make Christmas fun for our little boy. However, he did spoil me with the grand daddy of Keurig’s this year (he gave it to me early), right after my grandmother had passed away (as I was pretty down and out). And can I tell you that I LOVE this coffee maker!! It has made the month of December easier on my life in general. Sad what one appliance can accomplish. I love that no matter how little time I have in the morning, I still always have time to make coffee now. That makes this mama very happy!! (As well as less trips to Starbucks in the morning…easier on the pocket book too)
So what was your favorite thing you received or someone did for you for Christmas that warmed your heart or coffee mug?
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
I'm Back! -- First topic: My parenting choice
It has been a long time since I have posted to my blog… but I am back and ready to start sorting through life again. The time away has brought so much to my life. I have become a mother (best gift of my life) and keeps on giving each and every day. I graduated with a Bachelors degree in Business Management…something that I have wanted to achieve for a long time, but put on the back burner for who knows what reason. Did this with honors might I add, while also working full time and having a little one! I have had various ups and downs just like anybody else and I continue to grow and learn from my experiences each day. So speaking of becoming a mother, I would like to share a little story that keeps coming up in my mind, especially lately while I am questioning my profession and time away from my son.
What mother doesn’t like being told they are doing a good job raising their child? Who tell me, who doesn’t like to hear that? However, what I don’t care for is when someone gives a back handed compliment for being a working mom, because that, my friends, really gets me going!
I remember when I was about six months pregnant, someone asking me at a baby shower for someone else if I planned on going back to work after my child arrived. In my head I was thinking REALLY you are asking me this now? I still have three months to go, plus maternity leave OH and the fact that I am almost done getting my degree at that point… My quick response was, “I am not putting a whole lot of thought into it right now.” Their response, “You’ll never regret staying home and raising your own children.” Hmmm. Ok- please step down from the soap box for a moment and realize what you are saying to this hormonal woman in front of you. Who by the way would have a whirlwind birth followed by two weeks afterwards that felt like time was standing still…but that is a different story for another time.
Agreed, I enjoyed my time off immensely after all the craziness after birth. However, so much else is implied in that comment that day. And it actually still sits with me now as my child is 3.5 years old. Like my working mom friends are going to regret having the daycare provider raise their kids?? Does the daycare provider get the grocery shopping done on the weekends or weeknights when I am burnt out, all the while with the little person in the basket telling you fun stories? Get up in the middle of the night to reassure them that they are safe when something wakes them? Read to them at night when they can’t sleep; love them every moment that they are not with them? Make their house a home? I don’t think so.
Perhaps we forget as a society that leans so heavily one way or the other on parenting is that no choice is the right one all the way around. It’s about what is right for the family. I’ve known plenty of working mothers that went back to work and became amazing working moms, who were happy, balanced, and attentive with their kids when they got home. That is my focus each and every evening when I pick up my little man. For the record, this mom still has a hard time dropping her child off for daycare. I cry still on days that I would just love to be at home with him. So no, that pain doesn’t go away, however he is learning things there that I can’t teach him at home alone. The social interactions, the friendships with others his age and unique perspectives from others that can help shape him as a person.
What makes me the angriest is the guilt tripping, reminding me of how so many consider working to be the “lesser choice” and how “other people” stay at home? Why would this be a bad choice? Since when is providing for my family, while keeping my home clean, family fed, bills paid, board member at my church, volunteering to make other peoples’ lives better all while being a working mother be a bad choice? Why would we do this to moms who are just trying to make a difference in this world? Who are happy and fulfilled in their work (most of the time), and have spent a lot of time choosing a place for their child to be cared for, not raised?
I firmly believe that quality, not quantity, makes a child and parent relationship. I speak from experience because my own father who raised me worked all of the time to makes ends meet, however when he had downtime it was absolutely NO time for the kids. It was all about him.
My husband works just as much as I do, but the time we spend as a family really matters to him. And he makes it count. I know I’m a better, more patient mom because I appreciate each and every moment I am given to be MOM. I know hubby is a great dad for the same reason.
All I ask is that if you don’t like or agree with another’s choice to work or stay home, ask them why they made it. You may be surprised to hear the valid reasons, struggles, or various passions behind their choice. Then move on and focus on the right choices for what life has handed you and not worry about that pregnant lady and all the choices she will need to make in her future.
For those of you dealing with others who judge your choice, hold your head up high and always remember that what you are doing is right as long as it works for your family. I am proud of the love that my family gives me and the parenting choices that I have made. We are all stronger because of it.
What mother doesn’t like being told they are doing a good job raising their child? Who tell me, who doesn’t like to hear that? However, what I don’t care for is when someone gives a back handed compliment for being a working mom, because that, my friends, really gets me going!
I remember when I was about six months pregnant, someone asking me at a baby shower for someone else if I planned on going back to work after my child arrived. In my head I was thinking REALLY you are asking me this now? I still have three months to go, plus maternity leave OH and the fact that I am almost done getting my degree at that point… My quick response was, “I am not putting a whole lot of thought into it right now.” Their response, “You’ll never regret staying home and raising your own children.” Hmmm. Ok- please step down from the soap box for a moment and realize what you are saying to this hormonal woman in front of you. Who by the way would have a whirlwind birth followed by two weeks afterwards that felt like time was standing still…but that is a different story for another time.
Agreed, I enjoyed my time off immensely after all the craziness after birth. However, so much else is implied in that comment that day. And it actually still sits with me now as my child is 3.5 years old. Like my working mom friends are going to regret having the daycare provider raise their kids?? Does the daycare provider get the grocery shopping done on the weekends or weeknights when I am burnt out, all the while with the little person in the basket telling you fun stories? Get up in the middle of the night to reassure them that they are safe when something wakes them? Read to them at night when they can’t sleep; love them every moment that they are not with them? Make their house a home? I don’t think so.
Perhaps we forget as a society that leans so heavily one way or the other on parenting is that no choice is the right one all the way around. It’s about what is right for the family. I’ve known plenty of working mothers that went back to work and became amazing working moms, who were happy, balanced, and attentive with their kids when they got home. That is my focus each and every evening when I pick up my little man. For the record, this mom still has a hard time dropping her child off for daycare. I cry still on days that I would just love to be at home with him. So no, that pain doesn’t go away, however he is learning things there that I can’t teach him at home alone. The social interactions, the friendships with others his age and unique perspectives from others that can help shape him as a person.
What makes me the angriest is the guilt tripping, reminding me of how so many consider working to be the “lesser choice” and how “other people” stay at home? Why would this be a bad choice? Since when is providing for my family, while keeping my home clean, family fed, bills paid, board member at my church, volunteering to make other peoples’ lives better all while being a working mother be a bad choice? Why would we do this to moms who are just trying to make a difference in this world? Who are happy and fulfilled in their work (most of the time), and have spent a lot of time choosing a place for their child to be cared for, not raised?
I firmly believe that quality, not quantity, makes a child and parent relationship. I speak from experience because my own father who raised me worked all of the time to makes ends meet, however when he had downtime it was absolutely NO time for the kids. It was all about him.
My husband works just as much as I do, but the time we spend as a family really matters to him. And he makes it count. I know I’m a better, more patient mom because I appreciate each and every moment I am given to be MOM. I know hubby is a great dad for the same reason.
All I ask is that if you don’t like or agree with another’s choice to work or stay home, ask them why they made it. You may be surprised to hear the valid reasons, struggles, or various passions behind their choice. Then move on and focus on the right choices for what life has handed you and not worry about that pregnant lady and all the choices she will need to make in her future.
For those of you dealing with others who judge your choice, hold your head up high and always remember that what you are doing is right as long as it works for your family. I am proud of the love that my family gives me and the parenting choices that I have made. We are all stronger because of it.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Springtime
I haven't had a whole lot to say lately....I have myspace that I chit chat with friends on, but I do miss my blogger account sometimes. I hope all is well with everyone. I love this time of the year. As I sit here and post there is a nice warm breeze coming in and I can hear the birds chirping away. So peaceful.
Have a great day everyone.
Have a great day everyone.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Myspace
After much persuasion from a good friend I am going to Myspace. I am not doing a whole lot with blogger, but maybe that will change. Now I will have a myspace account too! If anyone cares to visit me there it's...
http://www.myspace.com/141154398
http://www.myspace.com/141154398
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
My shopping trip
Well, my shopping trip is over and I am left with some goodies! I am very excited! The only bad thing I have to say is that I love pink so much and this is not really the time of year to be wearing light pink. However, the darkest pink purse I will use anyways!! Our trip to NY was an interesting one, but fun at times. My husband was able to see some things from the double decker tour bus we took in the city. It was his first time there, so we were trying to pack in as much as possible. I was able to pack in 2 hours of shopping. I think we will be planning a trip there by ourselves next time. So today was an early morning for me. I have voted and I am about to get ready for work. Far as I am concerned that is quite a bit for 7:45 in the morning. Well.....at least for me. Have a great day everyone!
Monday, October 30, 2006
A little extra time
I have gained some time for myself due to setting the clocks back. This weekend was actually very productive. Usually, it's easy for me to give in to my husbands whims and just go to a movie instead of cleaning the house and doing laundry like I do every weekend. With us both working all day Monday through Friday, it leaves little to no time for other things. I am very proud of myself. I have joined a gym, and have been actively going. Time for those extra bits of me to be gone... As for the Halloween candy in my house, it needs to be trick or treat time already, so I can get those out of my house!! I have to say, I have only had two pieces....and out of nine bags that's pretty damn good! I have to credit that to moral support. I have a nice group of friends that work out with me, and eat well along the way. All is busy around my house. Hubby and I are going to New York this weekend. A little shopping spree.....hopefully many designer purses for me. The only pitfall I have with shopping.....I LOVE THE PURSES. Anything else I could care less....clothing etc.....well I do love shoes. Nothing compared to purses though! It should be tons of fun. A group of us are going by tour bus, so I am getting my IPod full of music and TV shows to keep me busy. Enjoy Halloween everyone! Eat some candy for me!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Another birthday come and gone....
Quote of the Day
"When you get into a tight place and it seems that you can't go on, hold on — for that's just the place and the time that the tide will turn."
– Harriet Beecher Stowe
"When you get into a tight place and it seems that you can't go on, hold on — for that's just the place and the time that the tide will turn."
– Harriet Beecher Stowe
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